Would You Sit Down?
Un bon repas adoucit l’esprit et régénère le corps.
A good meal softens the mind and regenerates the body.
The heavy drizzle of the early morning was finally receding into the sky above Paris. A bright, grey hue about the sleepy streets foretold the sun would come out later in the day to shine upon the city. The shadow of the Eiffel Tower shrouded me as I passed the fifth café in a row where the tables and chairs were outward facing.
Up and down the streets, chairs were arranged like mini auditoriums at every restaurant front. The seats were placed just so that nobody’s view was blocked by another patron. I imagined the restaurant staff, having to abide by some city ordinance, rearranging the cafe chairs each night at closing. By ten am, I was wondering if this was how the establishment let customers know which tables were available to sit at. Each cafe we passed, my curiosity grew. So, when lunchtime rolled around, I was delighted to discover that every person settled in for the noon meal facing out on the patios toward the street.
Every seat at every restaurant was occupied for the duration of lunch. The coveted spaces at the petite eateries were where guests intimately shared their afternoons watching the world go by. No one seemed to be in a hurry to return to the office or complete their errands.
At one point, Johnathon leaned against my shoulder to whisper in my ear, “It is totally socially acceptable to people watch here. I’ve been watching, and staring is so normal.”
By the end of our vacation in France, we were determined to try it. To sit at a table on the patio, not facing one another across our plates and glasses of wine, but instead to turn our chairs out. It was fun! Although, the seating tradition took a lot more getting accustomed to than we would have guessed. More than once, I blushed with embarrassment when catching another staring stranger’s eyes.
I’ve thought back on this cultural difference many times since returning home: An outward-facing dinner table. The notion of everyone facing the same direction. Gathering to share a meal that isn’t center-focused. Dining in a space where everyone is aware and observant of the world around them. Seating in the open air with an open posture.
Maybe it’s because of this phrase I’ve been hearing a lot in corporate America and on self-help podcasts:
“Secure your seat at the table.”
Or because of the revitalization in cultural hospitality in the United States going on right now. People are getting better at preparing an open table for neighbors, inviting in strangers, and befriending the unexpected guest.
The intention is to draw people into the inner circle of a community. Kind and thoughtful, yet still exclusive in a way. What I was seeing, by these random groupings of Parisian dinner guests, was a posture of belonging to an environment. The outward-facing table challenges me to think about how I am interacting with the whole world around me, rather than the table I am seated at.
If you are willing, I’d love for you to try this micro-thought experiment with me. How could shifting from a center-focused posture to an open stance change you? Change us? I don’t have the answer to this, yet. However, some ways I am trying to practice outward-facing living right now are:
- Waiting on a table at a restaurant instead of ordering take-out to dine at home
- Siting on my front porch instead of on my couch inside
- Leaving headphones at home when I am walking
- Asking people for help instead of Googling for answers
I trialed the last one at a Barnes & Noble the other day. Instead of using their reference computers to locate the book I’d come in to purchase, I asked an employee for help. It turned into one of the best conversations I’d had all week. Plus, I went away with a new off-leash park recommendation for the bulldog and me.
There is a personal motivation for trialing this lifestyle. The posture of the French diners I observed, relaxed and pensive, was really attractive to me. I would love to take a two hour lunch and feel serene, unbothered, and open by the end. Instead of the wasteful and hurried feeling I have now after my twenty-minute lunch at my desk. As someone who skips most of my lunch breaks at work and catches herself eating standing up at the kitchen sink, I’d like to try something different. I want to act like I believe that I am afforded time to enjoy watching and seeing and breathing in a space shared by so many others. A great meal is fresh baguette and brie; and it can also be time in the fresh air nearby a friendly smile, and two coffees steaming on a table.
Pull up a chair beside me, won’t you? I think I’d like to sit and watch for a spell.
I read a lot of books about French cuisine, dining, table traditions, and regional delicacies before we set out to visit France. Here are a few I loved reading that I think all foodies should check out!
