5 Freedoms Being a Transplant Has Given Me
Four years have passed in the Midwest, three different jobs, two churches, and many coffee dates. Digging into our new community has been a joy and a journey. The roots of our family are finally reaching out and soaking up the nutrition of good friends, home-town spaces, and peace. Are we really going to have to move, again?
Transitions are never comfortable but shifts in our lives do not need to be so disruptive. Considering what matters most to me and my family, a move or new job or wild change of commitments should not feel like being thrown in a rock tumbler. We are still learning this. Over time and through the changes many freedoms have released us to embrace the adventures. Taking advantage of those freedoms that living on the move gives us, I want to share five of them you can apply to your own lifestyle despite selling your house or starting a new job.
1. Freedom from Boredom
A sojourn-spirited person is never bored. They accept, if not seek out, change. The first time we lived in a place longer than two years I started to get itchy. I was restless preparing for a move that was not planned. It felt like we weren’t striving enough.
Travel, making new friends, and reaching for new goals were all happening. It took some time to realize I was looking ahead and not relishing in the experiences I was having, causing this negative, bored attitude. Once I released my expectations for success I was freed from discontent and have yet to feel bored, even during quarantine season.
2. Freedom from Stuff
Rotating a closet is one of the most satisfying chores on my list. Once a year, I exchange a selection of new clothes and donate last year’s outfits. I only keep a set number of items in my closet at any given time. This habit started after moving for the fifth time. A person decides really quick what they think about stuff after hauling boxes up and down stairs.
I like to dress nice, and clothes are exciting to me. I discovered I can still enjoy clothing without having an overcrowded closet. Clothes change with the season and so can we!
This system is how I maintain my whole house. If I purchase a new kitchen item I swap it for an unused item. Tending to cook in trends, this works well. One year I was on a cheesecake kick and purchased a series of springform pans and spatulas. Now I cook breads, so the spring forms swapped places with the baking cloche and loaf pans.
The goal is to avoid the head space that I need stuff to do what I want to do. A person on the move, whether moving their physical home or not, is always able to jump into an adventure because they are not limited by stuff. Instead, their creative capacity and nimbleness keeps them freely going.
3. Freedom from Routine
While our house is not on the market or our books packed in boxes, the everyday looks very different than it did a few months ago. Schedules shifted, work stressors changed, and different goals prioritized themselves. If we were hooked to one routine this would feel very uncomfortable.
A routine is relative. Volunteering on Wednesday mornings can easily become volunteering on Saturday afternoons. Game night with friends turns into breakfast before work.
I used to get very upset every time I would have to reset our lives when we moved or I took another job. I believed the lie that routines make us happy and routines look like blocked out hours in a day. Time is fluid. Routines can be viewed as adjusted time for things worth our while. Embracing fluidity will give you freedom to open your routines up.
4. Freedom from Bad Habits
Have you ever taken a class and after a couple weeks you show up and someone is sitting in your spot and it distracts you the entire lecture? When you realize you have been sitting in the same seat for weeks you wonder how many other absent-minded habits you have. Transplanting does not save you from all bad habits, but it helps you gain freedom from them if you chose.
We have a terrible issue with finding a restaurant we love and returning every week. Until we become aware via our credit card statement, “Hey! Who is Rodina? And why do you keep spending so much money on her?”
We miss out on all the incredible places around town. It is easy to get stuck buying the same groceries, enjoying the same forms of entertainment, having the same conversations at work. Maintaining a mind in motion keeps the pathways in the brain from using the same roads. Your brain has a lot of surface area that goes unused. To see what I mean, try even for a few minutes, doing something you haven’t done in a long time. Hop on one foot, read a recipe from start to finish, complete a sentence in Spanish. If you got distracted, that’s okay. Just be aware how we gravitate toward habits easiest to us.
5. Freedom from Consequential Friends
On any given day when I make a phone call, I see over twenty different area codes in my contact’s list. I have not lived in twenty different places, but I connect in a meaningful way with people from all over the world. Living as a transplant and a traveler has gifted me with intentional friendships. I am not stuck with anyone. I have hand-picked them all. Being a full-blown extrovert, if I want friends, I must choose to make them even if there is only a short time for us to get to know one another in person.
Some transplants struggle with this and experience feelings of isolation. Hear me out, I do, too. It takes a lot of energy to get out there and meet people and convince them to be friends with you when the threat of moving away is always present. However, transplants bring so much to the table. A sense of adventure, high octane energy, fresh perspective, and authenticity. A person would be crazy not to desire a taste of this. And if they shy away, you have your freedom to find a true friend or mate.
For those transplants out there like me who get down at the thought of another Skype call or layover coffee date:
Remind yourself that those far away-friendships equip you to be an amazing in-person friend to someone today.
After experiencing the 2020 Iowa Derecho, I try not to think like a tree. Standing strong as the world around me moves. I have found it is a good headspace to be a tulip bulb or rhubarb. Rooted into the ground, yet quick to hibernate for transplant. Able to regrow after being shorn in half. First to bud and bloom after a harsh winter. I would love to hear how what things are changing in your life and how it is going. The good, the bad, and the disruptive. Drop me a comment and let’s talk life on the move!
Here are some books for those aiming to be a happy, thriving transplant at heart:
