Cheers and Tears: A Book Review of When All Is Said by Anne Griffin
“I never dreamt the day I met her that there would come a time when I’d find it hard to breathe because her toothbrush no longer sits beside mine in the green, sorry – avocado, I always got that wrong, apparently – tumbler on the bathroom sink or because I can no longer hear her giving out when I set the fire wrong in the grate or that there is nothing – no breath, no heartbeat when I stretch my hand to her side of the bed in the morning.” ~Anne Griffin
On a dreary midsummer evening in a renovated hotel bar in Ireland sits a lone man whose clothes, age, and behavior should place him across the street at the pub. Within the first pages, readers walk up to the man and peer through the cracked and streaked window surrounding Maurice Hannigan’s heart. He wastes no time informing us, this stool is exactly where he is supposed to be and the entire night of June 7th, 2014 is coordinated. After a gruff side nod from Maurice we are welcomed to sit on the nearby bar stool and listen to how it all unfolds.
The fictional story of Maurice Hannigan is autobiographical in nature. The style of the novel is more purposeful and intentional than stream of conscience yet still takes time to deviate into the simpler thoughts, like emergency bathroom breaks and unsaid opinions of hipsters. What makes this story interesting is not who the protagonist is or what he accomplished in one lifetime but rather, the course of a life. This character stalls until the very last night of his life to experience and reflect on all the feels of a lifetime.
Anne Griffin debuts a poignant, transparent, and startling novel on the case for suicide through When All Is Said. She neither promotes the act nor stresses the fall out rather delves into a mind that has made the choice to die before facing an uncertain amount of time waiting for the end. Thoughts of loss, suffering, and loneliness are universal, and Griffin reminds us a desire to shed these heavy burdens permanently is universal too. Her true to life main character represents a very intentional demographic: isolated widowers. And she does a thorough job of punching out a peep hole for observation of the daily routines of this group,; reminding every reader just how rare it is to reach old age unscathed.
The formatting of the book helped tackle the heavy reality of a man choosing to end his own life. Five toasts, think everyone please raise your glass, accompanied by five planned beverages raised to five men and women who mattered to the man. I enjoyed this poetic and charismatic part of Maurice’s character. Ending an eighty-four year life with a toast of top shelf whiskey demonstrated a deep down desire to honor the good parts of who we are, even when we feel worthless. And Maurice proved that even with a brash, egocentric, brawn of a personality there can still exist a good heart to be loved.
Griffin’s personal writing style is memorable in the pages of When All Is Said because her main character is honest. Maurice is a lot of people in this world today which makes him relatable and Griffin is the craftswoman behind that. What stuck out in my mind was a distinction Griffin made through her character, Maurice did not choose suicide because he despised and devalued his life, instead he longed to regain control and purpose. Some choices he reflected on were regrettable but what swayed the decision for him was he did not want to live with out his soulmate any longer. His rational was clear and honest and logical. If in death there was a chance he could be with Sadie again, then why wait one more minute to be separated from her. This book urged decriminalizing and devictimizing the longing to die in seniors.
Maurice or any character in this end of life conflict would not have been believable or relatable if they regretted everything and felt pitiful. While suicide is a very complex topic, Griffin removes those discussions and focuses on one group of people, the eldest seniors who have lost their spouse. Depression and hopelessness, from seeming lack of purpose and frayed relationships, is serious and we need to be paying attention to that with average life expectancy climbing every generation. But this book is not just to bring light to lonely widowers. There are many golden moments throughout Maurice’s life that young and old can connect to.
When you are dealing with a hard scrape with life, having this book to pull down from your shelf and read would offer comfort and relief. This book is a buy and keep for your collection. It has seasonal purpose, for those times in life when you need someone who will not push you to change but will be there beside you. The unique style of the story is complemented by the honest, straightforward character Maurice. I hope Griffin has a few more characters like him in her collection, I would love another story we can all lean into from across the bar. Cheers Maurice! And to embracing heartache for all it has to offer.
If When All Is Said was a book you wished would never end, then check out these titles that have a similar feel and theme.
